Granted, but it has aids and rabies.

I wish for a good muffin, chocolate chip espcially.

Granted, but it has aids and rabies.

I wish for someone to have a cookie.

Granted. Yum. Then you get aids and rabies.

I wish for my next wish not to involve aids and rabies.

Granted. it includes HIV now!
I wish I could learn some Necromancy and ressurect Cliff Burton, and he could still play Bass like a god.

Granted, but Cliff needs human flesh to keep up his awesome Bass skills so he bites your head off before his first piece after you resurrect him.

I wish to be able to play the drums as well as Trym Torson from Zyklon.

Granted. now you're the best drummer in the world!
And Burzum wanted you in his band. but, since he didn't liked your face, he killed you.
I wish I could play bass like Cliff Burton, Guitar like Dave Mustaine and Drums like Dave Lombardo.
(play all those at the same time too)

Granted, but your arms fall off.

I wish I could sing as good as Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty.

Granted, but then your arms fall off.... and your legs, too.

I wish the 3.5" floppy disks were not called floppy since they don't flop at all.

Granted. They are now called artifacts.

I wish for stuff.

granted, but "Stuff" is "Giant mounds of sewage dumped on your house."

I wish for love, and no ugly girls or disease ridden girls, or cute girls who die please.

'kay. You get a bunch of gay male lovers.

I wish for the red flag.

Granted, here it is. DON'T TOUCH IT OR - nevermind. Rest in peace.

I wish for a corrupted wish.

Granted. You get the next wish.

I wish for a lot of stuff.

Granted, you get lots of stuff.
SHIT, it's raining shit in your house!
I wish to rust in peace.

granted. as you proceed to rust in peace,you come across a guy who calls himself Christian Bale.
he tells you that his name is christain bale but you dont belive him. so you say "no your not. shut up".
then the man responds by saying "**** you bitch! im Christian Bale! GIVE ME YOUR POKEMONS!!!"
the man then picks you up and then rapes you, eats your soul and then shoots you several times with a shotgun.

i wish music nowdays sound more like this.
: -
music, carried away by bassnectar

granted, but it sounds like it's been on the NES for 100s of years.

I wish for gum that I can hurt people with.

Granted, but you didn't realize your wish came true and ended up hurting yourself with the next stick of gum you chew.

I wish for my Python work to be done.

Granted,but you screwed it up and no one wants to buy it.

I want a cheap rusty non-working broken pistol

Granted, but you drop it on your toe and it really hurt. Oh, and some gun control extremist shoots you.

I wish for my project to just be done (and get an A).

granted but the 'A' falls off your school sign and kills you as you walk out as you didnt mention the word ironic once.

i wish that i could be happy for once and it to last forever

Granted. But you were happy because you were dead a long time ago.

I wish this wish was ironic.

Ironically, this wish granting isn't very ironic.

I wish for less boredom, more awesome.

granted, but when more awesome arrives, you die of implosive diarrhea.

I wish for a 1 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper.

Granted. But a Cyo-Strain parasite was in it and infects you. Then a n00by map-hacker comes and kills you out of nowhere. (Reference to Warcraft III custom map =D )

I wish Drake would tell us where and why he gets & puts this stuff in his sig.

Granted. but i had internet amnesia so i cant tell you.
so you walk home dissaponted, you come across a friend who says " HAY! WANT TO SEE SPIDERMAN 3!?!"
then you shoot him with a D49 revolver. you then go home and on to your computer. you are then on the internet and then you shout out "I CAN SEE FOREVER!" then someone on the other side of the internet approches and vomits on you through the screen.
and THEN a zombie eats your brain and says "the plural of mouth is mithe" and then finally worship chaos.

i wish my XBOX 360 didnt get the [size=26px] RED RING OF DEATH! [/size]

Granted. Instead, it exploded. And blew your face up with it.

I wish for teh lulz.

Granted, but i don't know what that is so instead i give you a beating with the ugly stick(MANY TIMES!!)..

I wish for infected water to spread across the earth and purge non believers of 'The Way'...

Granted, you die of dehydration because you don't drink water anymore because it's ALL infected.

I wish for complete control over all.

Granted,in 5 minutes everyone became into uncontrollable zombies and ate you.

I wish Bethesda sucked even more.

Granted, but they suck you in and you become an crazed Oblivion Fan, get away from me!

I wish for Fallout 3 to have a nail minigun.