Granted. You get a life time supply of little watch batteries.

I wish for an endless supply of coffee and hot cocoa mix.

And no, I won't drink it if its tainted or otherwise unsavory, but I will still be rather upset.

granted , its soo good you keep drink it , and you wont stop you can't you keep on drink both of them until you splode.....

I wish for a pony

...ouch never saw that one coming >_<

Your pony meatloaf will be delivered tomorrow.

I wish I had integrated flamethrowers in my fingers.

Granted, but they cannot be turned off.

I wish for more cheese.

Granted, but you get constipation and explode.

I wish to replace all bananas with monkey bread.

granted, but all the monkeys die of starvation.

I wish this thread would hurry up and get to 1000 posts.

congrats it does but overflows the website and crashes the server, nice job

I wish there was no such thing as ESRB ratings

Granted. And as a result, the video game industry falls into a state of chaos as lawsuits are being pulled left and right from parents who don't know what kind of games they are buying their children, and justly so.

I wish for 12 pounds of jello.

granted, you're now 12 pounds heavier..

i wish for the blue flag..

Granted, but the blue guys already have the red flag.

I wish I had the blue flag back.

Granted,but forgot to get the red flag.

I wish for more music

Granted, you get illegal music and therfore are now in prision, being raped.

I wish I had the blue flag.

granted but the blues have the red flag, again

i wish the red and blue team died so i can grab both flags

Granted, but you forgot that stop in the middle of the asteroid in CTF-Face is something stupid.
*Headshot*

I wish I had the Green flag.
oh too late
Granted. but as you were part of the red team, you also die.
besides you forgot to activate the "grab your own flag" mutator, so you couldn't even grab both flags.

Granted but the yellows storm in, stomp you into the ground, and take your flag and the green flag.

I wish I hadn't dropped the red flag.

Granted, but I pick it up and stab you in the eyeball.

I wish for all four flags, red, blue, green, AND gold.

Granted, but the sever admin forgot to put the 4 team ctf as serverpackage, so it' a lot bugged now.
I wish for the Black flag.(wtf?)

granted, but you are arrested for being a pirate so now you are to be hanged at dawn.

I wish I win this weekend's lotto (lottery)

Granted, but the money strangely never arrives. And your attempts at communication with the lottery have all been ignored.

I wish for a toggable noclip.
(Source's ghost cheat)

Granted but your noclip *cheat* stopped working while you was going through the wall you died and became part of the wall.
I wish i found a case with money today.

Granted, it's full with 0.2 isk (yes its a real currency, google it)

I wish for time manipulation, and the ability to use it without fail.

Granted, but the only way to do it is to go on a marathon 10 march around the world changing all of the clocks.

I wish half term was longer than 3/2 weeks.

Granted! Your girlfriend leaves you so you rewind time 7 days to fix what went wrong. However it was you going back in time that caused the problem in the first place so you have caused a time paradox and the universe implodes

I wish i had 8 legs

EDIT: noooo i missed uraniums post... oh well.

Granted, but they all start to kick you in the face.

I wish for gold.

granted but it is molten gold and it is poured into your ears, mouth and nose.

I wish I was kicking SX with my 8 legs

Granted, but he is strangleing you with his two arms and a flexible ruler.

I wish for all my money to be converted to gold, and for the price of gold to increase.

granted, but it drops on your head and you die of a concussion.

I wish for my day to stop being pissy.

Granted but everyone else gets more gold than you so you are now poor

I wish I had a vampiric duck named Terry and he only eats chavs (which I am not)

Raziel

P.S I don't want someone to do a lazy reply EG: I turn into a chav... thats just sad)

granted, he reproduces bvy cloning and creates a clone with eats anything thats not a chav.

i wish for more shitty vodka to be spilled on my floor.

(forgot wish)

Granted, but it will be spilled on your floor in very very slow-motion because of my time manipulating p0w3rz.

I wish that this wish won't be granted.