Why hasn't my processor blown up yet for running UT and other crap all these years? It also ran Warrock but barely.

It's most likely dying because it is not doing what it used to anyways, processors do have a life span.

Anyways, it's most likely over 9 years old so it will probably die soon but still I'm amazed at how long it lasted. I mean wow and UT2004 the system requirements said you need at least 1 Ghz of processing power to run it, I only have 548 Mhz lol. I wonder if it will explode soon, and yes I'm kidding, processors can't explode, they'll just fry.

It's not even gamer speak. This is Gibberish English. O_o

Heh... I never thought about that... The possibility that those aged, decrepit pieces of silicon could actually be worth something...

Damn man! I'm sitting on a gold mine! Almost quite literally! (They're actually directly below me on the bottom floor )

What do you expect?
It's hard enough for a monkey to type on a keyboard, but while in a trunk? Forget about it!

But that trunk monkey happens to be a homo sapiens sapiens that lives in the US, I would certainly expect him to type his native language at least moderately well.

Well at least when a monkey's in a trunk he has some room to breath, but a human trying to type on a keyboard in a trunk would be very uncomfortable and distracted because of his size.
I know what you mean Adam, I try to keep my dialect as clean as possible when I'm online, to the courtesy of whomever I'm talking to, but offline I'm more like this:

" 1 Kn0w wh4+ J00 me@N 4D@M, I tRY To kEEp My d1@L3CT @$ clE@n 4S PO5SiBL3 WHEN 1'M oNl1N3, +O TH3 COURtE$y 0PH WhOM3VEr 1'M t4lKIn9 t0, bu+ 0FPhL1nE 1'm m0r3 L1KE +hiS "

That is pretty straight forward, who the hell would enunciate when chatting with a person that speaks and understands the same slangs?

Also, text slangs are harder to read if they are unfamiliar to the other person, and trunkmonkey isn't using any specific slangs, just gibberish. Not surprising we hardly understand him at times.