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There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) or other religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, sort through millions of gifts, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

SANTA IS FAST AS HELL!!!!!!!

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

GODDAMN! THEY ARE STRONG AS MOTHER*******!

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

SANTA IS A TOUGH S.O.B!

Author:	Treadhead [ Tue Aug 19, 2008 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Epic posts.
Put epic posts you have seen or made here. Comedic, intellectual, whatever! Just truly notable stuff. On the GameFAQs GoW2 forums, topic: Describe an Event That Would Totally Ruin the Campaign For You, poster pro98b7 The COG are forced inside a dark tunnel underground after a fierce battle on the surface. The Locust that chase them suddenly back off from the tunnel entrance. The Locust' evil laughter resonates as the entrance to the tunnel crumbles, and is blocked off completely. The tunnel grows dark, almost completely black. You can see the glowing lights from the COG's weapons and armor only. As they continue down the long corridor, a quick and rythmatic thump slowly begins to grow louder and louder. "What is that?" asks Dom quietly. Marcus puts his ear near the wall, where the sound is seemingly coming from. "Sounds like a drumbeat." The rest of the COG cup their ears and lean towards the wall as they continue to walk down the tunnel. The sound grows louder with every step they take. After several minutes of walking in the nearly pitch black tunnel, they nearly walk face-first into a large steel door. The rythmatic thump is so loud that the steel door shakes. It is clearly a drum beat. "Hey, this sounds familiar!" says Baird. From the glowing lights that they wear, Baird notices a latch on the door that is unlocked. The COG ready their weapons. "On the count of three." Says Marcus sternly. "One, two, THREE!" Baird kicks the door open. You see all the COG in one frame, with their arms and hands in front of their faces, trying to protect against the glare of the flashing lights from the room. The sound is deafening. It is the song "Stayin Alive" by the BeeGees. Various Locust grunts are skating around on roller skates, bobbing their heads to the music. Every COG says "What the....." at the same time. Its an underground disco. Two grunts, holding hands with each other, spin around in a circle on their roller skates. One of the grunts bellows "Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggh!!!" as the torque from their spin makes them extend their arms fully. The camera zooms in on each of the grunt's faces, showing them grinning, with the background just a blur of lights. A Theron guard, who is the DJ, gestures for the COG to come in. The camera zooms in on the face of Marcus. He gives a little grin, and says "Lets do this." "Yeah baby! Woooh!" shouts Cole. Baird is already doing the robot. Dom just shrugs. The ending credits begin to roll, and you can see the COG grooving to the music on roller skates with the Locust. That was all it took for the Humans and Locust to get along. Disco music.

Author:	SX [ Tue Aug 19, 2008 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Epic posts.
This was one of my posts in the "Welcome to South Africa!" Thread. "Not ALL of humanity is a virus... there are still are people out there who care about this Like me and the countless others here." There are more, maybe I'll go search...

Author:	Industry [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:48 am ]
Post subject:	Epic posts.
Quote: There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) or other religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, sort through millions of gifts, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. SANTA IS FAST AS HELL!!!!!!! Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). GODDAMN! THEY ARE STRONG AS MOTHER*******! A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. SANTA IS A TOUGH S.O.B! saw this on gameFAQs about masterchief vs philsbury doughboy vs santa vs nuclear robots. ( i think. been a while)

RuneStorm http://www.runestorm.com/forums/

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