Granted. but due to gas prices, you are unable to get there.

I WISH THIS TEXT WAS NOT IN CAPS!

Granted, but the text will look non-capslocked to everyone but you. (you know, it was very tempting to edit your post, granting your wish for real...)

I wish for a free copy of Windows Vista 64-bit.

Granted, but like the a**holes MS is, it doesn't even have SP1, and now your forced to go back to good old XP.

I wish that drake wasn't a cat driving.

granted. but its replaced with a REALISTIC driving cat called toonces:

i wish for a copy of MERCS 2

Granted, turns out toonces can't really drive... so the car crashes and your copy of Mercs2 is incinerated.

I wish for a flying environmental friendly car

Granted. but Toonces is the DRIVER!
Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuun!!!

can i haz cheezburger?

No

I wish that the inventor of lolcats will burn in hell (or a suitable non religious alternative e.g. flamethrower)

Granted. but the teh internets imploded.
Happy now?

i wish for a can of dr.pepper

Granted, but its actually a can of irn bru in disguise.

I wish for a tank

Granted. but it comes in a box and requires self assembly.
and manual not included

i wish for a Bradley Infantry Fighting Vechicle.

Granted, but it's dismantled into trillions of microscopic pieces.

I wish for a Boltok Revolver.

Granted, but it only revolves stress.

I wish there was a Charlie the Unicorn 3 released on YouTube.

Granted, but after 2 hours, it's taken down due to copyright infringement

I wish for Breaking Benjamin.

Granted, your now the proud owner of a benjamin bear that has severe mental breakdowns.

A wish that Nickelback will announce a new album or someting.

Granted, but after they announced it, they die from drinking and driving.

I wish for the Torque Bow.

Granted, but it is made from paper, and thus bends when you try to use it.

I wish I had a pack of wild lynx that followed my every command

Granted. I learn their language and command them to gruesomely rip you apart limb by limb.

I wish for a sueped-up sit-on tractor lawn mower.

Granted, its so supped up that it starts to fly then crashes and kills you.

I wish for a car.

Granted, but it's a piece of crap.

I wish for a Compound Bow.

Granted, but turns out to be compounded with crap.

I wish for the Lancer from GoW.

Granted, but it has no Chainsaw Bayo, and you only get one bullet with it.

I wish for a Crossbow with exploding arrows.

Granted, but its a childrens toy

I wish for another PC that is not crap

Granted, but soon after, it explodes into a steaming pile of crap.

I wish for THE END OF DAYS.

Granted. Tomorrow.

I wish for the exact same thing the next guy posted, but better.

Granted, but it's only .00000000000000001 better.

I wish for New York city.

Granted. But the entire police force of New York City and the National Guard hunt you down for stealing their state.

I wish for more.

Granted, you get more cancer.

I wish for the Punisher.

He punishes you for eons.

I wish you guys knew what the M781's secondary fire was.

Granted. then we all use it against you.

I wish my double bed wa still here.

Granted, the other side is filled up with 15 illegal eastern european immigrants.

I wish for a better fan to keep the hot air out