Granted. but you get an armageddon burger >8(

i wish for a nintendo ds.

Granted, but the screens is full of crap, and the games refuses to play.

I wish for Treadhead having a chainblade (I'm Nice, although the next poster isn't...)

Granted. He then uses the chainblade to dismember SX.

I wish for more QUAKE.

granted. but the quake caused a landslide and destroyed your home.

i wish for a can of IBC rootbeer.

Granted, but it's warm and is flat and has no bubbles.

I wish for a... Invisibility power up.

Granted. Its really, really hard to see though.

I wish for more iD...

Granted, but they make tons of pack-man and Mario remakes..

I wish had more music..

Granted, but the music is from the genre you hate, and every single song you can't stand is immediately transported onto your cd's, mp3, and computer

I wish for the eternal banning of instant downloading pop-ups from .... sites

Granted, but the internet can no longer function properly.

I wish for Spam to die.

Granted, but free pr0n dies with it.

I wish for:
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five goooolden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
(yeah, suck on that! )

Granted, but you get so confused on where to start with tne new stuff that you kill yourself.

I wish for a balloon full of sodium hexafluoride.

Granted, it causes severe global warming and we, including you, perish

I wish I knew how to commandeer military helicopters and tanks

Grantedd, but those are plastic toys Tanks and helicopters.
I wish BW in UT3.

Granted, but in this case BW stands for Barry White.

I wish for more human-made futuristic weapons for BW.

Granted, they do negative damage

I wish I knew how to kill efficiently, like an assassin

granted...then you have no efficient weapons to kill with and you break both your arms

i wish i wish i was a fish

Granted, but you shrivel up and die.

I wish for monkeys.

granted but they eat you!

I wish the world would end within an hour!

Granted. Just wait a bit.

I want... something. Not sure what, but it better be something.

Granted, you now have flaming diarrhea.

I want a ball made of osmium.

Granted, but you can't touch it, due to the fact it's gas or something like that.

I wish for circuses to be banned.

Osmium is a metal.

Granted, circuses are now banned, but you need to hide for the rest of your life because the circus fans are very angry.

I wish I could easily rip DRM-protected CDs.

Granted, but rising from its ashes are the Cisturns! They're a lot like a circus, but with truly evil clowns and even crappier shows. Literally.

I wish for a cure for this damn flaming diarrhea.

And perhaps a new pair of pants and underwear... And a new sock...

Granted, but the side-effect of the cure is a very cold diarrhea for a few hours. Oh, and here is your pair of pants, underwear and new sock. Too bad they are all meant for girls though.

I again wish that I could easily rip DRM-protected CDs.

Well, at least the cloths still fit... Not too crazy about the thing underwear though.

Granted. You are gifted with an inhuman strength required to tear a CD in two without shattering it in the process.

I wish for the end of times. And a beginning of something better and way cooler than time. Like Splogth... Or something.

That'd be pretty sweet.

Granted, splogth has begun. But due to lack of Albert Einstein, there is no way to understand progression of the new beginning.

I want 2 more GBs of RAM.

granted, but it is made up of 256kb modules that only fit in an IBM PS/2

I wish for a rainy day...

Granted, but you get a rainy year instead and your home is flooded.

I wish i could draw the 3/4 profiles better

Granted, yet you make pornographic images and get banned from every website where you flaunt it.

I wish i could get a wish that would be granted without being corrupted.

granted, but it can't be corrupted so you and the wish get kicked from the forums...

I wish for packet of jellie beans