Granted, you get some skiis made from fruit cake and a fine doormat sized persian rug made in the township of Haz.

I wish for a revoloution!

granted, it was a revolution against video games, and now we dont have them anymore.

i wish for my own zergling army.

Granted, but your zerglings turn on you!

I wish for an everlasting pizza

granted, but it tastes really bad and gives you food poisoning everytime you eat it. also, it has AIDS.

i wish for more money!

Granted, but you need to pay your tax that is 99% of anything you buy.

I wish for a hamster.

Granted, but the hamster eats you.
I wish I was IronMan

Granted, but when you need to go to a restroom, you do it in the suit and short circuit it.

I wish for a golden tuxedo.

Granted, but it is made from solid gold-195. It appears on you, so you are stuck in it and can't move. On top of that, it is steadly bombarding you with beta radiation.

I wish for a little owl.

Granted. It's a Jamaican Stunted Brain-Eater owl. And it does it's namesake to you. (NOT REAL. If it somehow does exist by some luck, then please tell me)

Give me more damn radioactive Russian cake!! And a hazmat suit that blocks radiation. And that I don't die.

Granted, you recieve all of your wishes. Then you wake up and find yourself in the real world, the depression of school/work bearing down on your shoulders like a ton of bricks. You then spend the rest of your life waiting to go back to sleep and have the dream with the cake and invincibility again; but of course, this dream never surfaces - just a ream of dreams showing you up as a depressingly normal person. This goes on for several years, until a badly timed breakup coincides with you being fired. You jump off of beachy head.

I wish for a large plate of yorkshire pudding filled with gravy.

Granted, but the as soon you take a bite, it explodes in a green mist.

I wish for a wreath of barbs to wrap around Jack Thompsons neck.

Granted. But the barbs are filled with liquidized Gamma Radiation and he goes Hulk on your ass and Gaming's ass.

I wish Eat hadn't described that terrifyingly possible situation that could happen to people (Not me, I'm perfectly fine. But I'm still knocking on my wood desk.....)

Granted, but she's allready dead.

NECRO!

I wish I could have disturbed Treadhead more.

granted, but it kills you because it gets pissed.

i wish i could think of a wish.

Granted, you thought of this wish: 'I wish the world could be just like that in the novel 1984 by George Orwell.'

I wish the world could be just like that in the novel The Bible by various.

granted, you are the human sacrifice of the Egyptians.

i wish all oceans would turn into oceans of gummi bears and other types of scrumptious candies.

Granted, but it's stale and you get cavities in all of your teeth.

I wish for lots of hamburgers.

Granted, but instead of meat in the hamburger, there are mice.
I wish for a cheeseburger without mice

Granted. You get rats instead of mice.

I wish for... ummmm... running out of ideas... a second GeForce 8800GT video card with 512 MB onboard memory in perfect condition.

granted, but the driver doesnt work.

i wish to own land on the moon.

granted, but u cant get off.

in perfect condition. + but the driver doesnt work = ??

I wish for no pie.

Granted. but then you discover that moon is habitated by Hell forces. now it's time for Doom4. and when you go back to Earth, it was attacked by demons too. yeah, again.
oh no, too late

I wish that Slayer music make me better in UT2004 or any FPS.

muuuh u ignored my post

Granted Glos: however, your mouse/controler becomes very laggy. There is no cure and buying new ones breaks them as well.

Granted Bulska: you get no pie - or any other foodstuff except for marmite (unless you love it, in which case you get zilch).

I wish for an emergency one use only disposable third leg.

Granted, but when you use it, it gives off gamma radiation, turning your third leg into a cancerous tumor, then you die.

I wish for a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

granted, the chicken had aids, the bowl had aids and no you have aids.

i wish for enough TP to TP the whole world.

to clear up, the card itself is perfect, the driver is not hardware.

Granted, but due to a spelling error on the forms, you end up covering the world in TCP. Unsuprisingly, most people die.

I wish our science department could upgrade from 1970-90 period educational videos. I never want to see Scunthorp or another mullet again.

Granted. You get a large number of independant films from 1968. They largely involve ways to make pot in the guise of 'science'.

I wish I could have a pet tiger that wouldn't eat me. Or my friends, family. Or anyone. And be SUPER LOVEY-WUBBY ADOWABLE!!!

...

Treadhead,I am confiscating all your WH20K related merchandise.