Granted, but they are crap music and causes UT2004 to crash over and over and over...

I wish to have the ability to drink a 3-liter pop and not throw up or die.

Granted. But you have to pee, and you are in a crowded elevator that is broken down and stuck between floors.

I wish for a cup of coffee.

EDIT:

Aha! I fulfilled my wish myself! Take that, suckers!

granted (before you fulfilled it yourself), yes I managed to pee in it (that was the odd taste)

I wish that I made a wish

raziel

P.S damn... I confused myself...

granted, you wish for a 7 foot katana jammed up your, um.. private part.

I wsih for antiparadox forces to come and take all paradox wishs to purgatory.

Granted, but in the process you accedentally kill your mother before you were born, thus you end up in purgatory along with all the other paradoxes

I wish for England to have a better cricket team

Granted, but no one knows what cricket really is so you are instead given a bunch of insects.

I wish I wasn't bored.

Granted, your boredom is over, now you are emotionless.

I wish an old friend of mine who just passed away is brought back to life.

Granted, but his a mindless zombie.

I wish that dwarfs take over the world.

Granted, but you become a midget among dwarven folk. Whoops..

I wish for the New Zealand All Blacks to win the next Rugby World Cup.

Granted, all the black people from New Zealand win the Rugby World Cup.

I wish my girlfriends mom wouldn't be so damn strict -.-'.

granted but her dad is strict instead and he chases you down with a shotgun down the street XD.

i wish my next corrupt wont be so cruel .

granted, but due to the anti-geneva convention, it'll end up being cruel anyways, so here's a coat hanger and please stick it up your bum for hilarity issues.

I wish for a gun that shoots candy.

Granted, but it only shoots massive gobstoppers with carrot and spinach flavoring.

I wish for all student debt to be cancelled/forgiven next year.

granted, but you don't get a salary from work then..

I wish i knew what i was doing..

Granted, but you now don't know what you are doing it for.

I wish my chair didnt have an odd slant.

Granted, but then you realized that you were actually cutting your own hand while modelling for UT3.
I wish to know what will happen in 2012.
-late-
Granted, but then you become furious of this chair and throw it in a person nearby. now the police will put you in the jail.
and the floor in the jail is full of slants.

Granted. You see that a mad scientist made a device that canceled all intermolecular forces, causing the universe to dissolve into dust at 12:01AM on Jan 1, 2012.

I wish to ace my impending test in this pointless required class.

Granted, but everything in the future is so bad so you get depressed, go insane and are placed into a mental asylum after screaming gibberish about everything going to hell on Wall Street.

I wish for the developers of Killzone to put out a PC-conversion of said game.

Granted, in order to ace the test, you have to spend 5 months porting killzone to the PC. The result however is unrelentingly bad.

I wish for more double wishes to solve

granted, but it takes 2.7 trillion years for the next double wish.

I wish for the world to throw all greed in the tube.

Granted, but hippies take over your house and make you listen to Phish 24/7/365.

I wish for a big-ass banana split from Friendlys.

Granted, friendly people give you 2 divorced banana's with 2 big asses.

I wish for Ben&Jerry's Phish Food (now that Phish got mentioned ).

Hahaha thats hilarious

Granted, but the B&J comes with real fish, not the chocolate ones. Mmmmm, tuna and ice cream..Yum.

I wish for a gigantic cheese-steak with plenty of Cholula hot sauce.

Granted, but the whole dish was passed through my corrupteromatic 3000.

'The corruptomatic works by adding neutrons to all atoms in the target object untill they are radioactive...'

I wish for mccain and obama to forget the election and just get down to some serious man lovin'

Granted, but you are a witness to this event and get pulled into it by becoming a lucky-pierre.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted, you know what to wish for, but it sucks.

I wish midgets take over the world.

granted, but they are giant midgets, so no-one knows the difference

I wish for an epiphone riviera with 2xP94 humbuckers like the one used by Nick Valensi

Granted. 10 years later, you are famous and well known guitar player. as you where preforming in a live audince stage in front of MILLIONS of people and fans. as you preformed your solo and the guitar string snapped and lashed into your face, slicing your skin and jugular vein and split one of your eyeballs open. you then died form heavy blood loss.

oh, and did i mention it was slow and painful?


i wish Red Alert 3 (or any game for that matter) didnt have annoying DRM.

cool now that is an awesome way to die, I thank you very much.

granted but due to the number of piracy problems, they completely stop making video games...

I wish for licorice whip guitar strings that taste like raspberry, are unbreakable, don't stretch, are fat free, are not habit forming and are unable to choke on

Granted, but you put the licorice on a guitar and you get electrocuted.

I wish for a chocolate bomb with drizzled hot fudge on it.