Granted, except hunters shoot your stomach into bits.

I wish for a pain killer, my right wrist hurts like a S.O.B.

Granted, but your heart shuts down from an overdose and kills you.

I wish for more Bombay Sapphire Gin! I need to make more mixed shots for my buddies over here....

Granted, but the world becomes flooded with it, causing the world to become completely submerged... in Gin.

I wish I had a good enough computer to run Fallout 3, and also get Fallout 3.

Granted but it burned after one day of use.

I wish i received confirmation letter for Project Torque.

Granted, you received it yesterday and had to send the letter back within 2 hours.

I wish for a chaingun with holy water bullets, an ancient holy naginata, 2 of SX's holy revolvers and a set of blessed sharpened latin crosses which I can throw into the demons caused by my last wish, the aliens weren't able to stop them...

Granted, but the demons are norse demons, meaning that your christian weapons are ineffective.

I wish for a large mallet.

granted, it's a large mallet made of rubber and cheese.

I wish for a minigun that shoot's .44 magnum rounds

Granted, but the manufacturers did a piss-poor job, so your minigun jams and explodes after one shot.

I wish I had insane guitar-playing skills.

Granted, your skills get so insane that everytime you try to play your strings break.

I wish donuts don't have a hole in the middle.

Granted, but the holes in donuts are replaced with fists, so every time you try to take a bite, the fist pwns the shit out of your face.

I wish I won every race I participated in for Project Torque.

Granted, but hacking the stats of the game made Project Torque corrupt and it made your PC go overdrive and explode right infront of you.

I wish for las0r

granted, but Las0r gets stuck up your rear end.

I wish for more money, and not have it fall on me, and not counterfeit either.

granted, but all the money appears inside your skull and blows your head up.

i wish for a pizza with a crust stuffed with cheese, peperoni and peppers.

Granted, but somehow some samples of tetrodotoxin got into the crust, killing you within minutes of eating it.

I wish I was able to challenge the devil to a fiddle showdown! And win!

Granted but the devil gets pissed off by losing and tortures your soul for eternity! MHUAHAHAHAHAHA...

I wish to be granted 3 wishes in one sentence.

Granted, granted, and granted. However, all of those granted wishes involve someone close to you torturing you just for fun.

I wish to be granted infinite wishes in one sentence.

granted, but due to the large number of wishes, your choices for any wish are limited to:
a brutal torture by an angry ogre,
a brutal tortute by an angry alien,
getting raped.

i wish for my own space station with laser cannons.

Granted, but a cat comes and pees on the main... i dont know what - so the full space station goes



I wish I would die laughing at my corrupted wish.

Granted, but you die laughing at your wish to be publicly humiliated in fron of the entire world in the worst possible way.

I wish for nothing.

Granted,you get the word 'nothing' carved into your forehead.

I wish for a Bowing 747 jet turbine.

granted, but once it starts up, it sets you and your house on fire.

I wish for Spree candy to be more chewy.

i wish that i will be happy and meet someone special who loves me and i love her

Dude, grant my wish first, then you wish.

I wish for Spree candy to be more chewy.

Granted, but the candy becomes tastless in the morechewymaking process.

I wish to charge mah lazorr.

granted. but you overloaded and blasted your self in a missave shoopsplosion.

i wish Alexand3rS would stop hitting himself.

Granted, but he slaps you until your face falls apart from the stress on your skin.

I wish Drake would stop putting weird shit in his sig and remove the rather disturbing avatar he has.... 0_o

Granted, but Drake puts even more disturbing stuff to replace his sig and avatar. You know this, for example, he starts writing a fanfiction about him and Pikachu and puts the hyperlink to the fiction as his sig.

I wish Immortal, Emperor, Moonsorrow, and Nightwish started putting out new albums this year.

---
anyways.


granted. but the albums are all rushed so they are poorly edited, inconsistent and lame.

i wish ShadowBlade would put his music on the newgrounds audio portal.

On a side note, Drake, where do you even find these things, more specifically the kid dancing in your sig?

Anyway...
-------

Granted, but for some reason the Newgrounds server overloads and causes a worldwide nuclear explosion.

I wish for a can of Whup-Ass.

Hahaha, nice one Drake. All in jest mate, all in jest.

Granted you get a can of Whup-Ass but Chuck Norris finds out and round-houses you. His kick sends you flying off to god-knows-where.

I wish for free Indian food. Nothing better than a vindaloo for lunch on a cold day.